Today I was verbally abused by 2 members of the public for using a disabled toilet. This upset and angered me but most importantly I know this is not a one off story...
The Highcross shopping centre, a huge multifloor shopping centre in the heart of Leicester. For me, since moving to Leicester, I have visited it almost daily.
I love the facilities and shops the Highcross has to offer from my personal favorites like MenKind, Game and the Disney Store, to many higher end department stores and smaller businesses, it is a wonderful shopping centre.
I have never before experienced a single issue in the Highcross besides one very rude manager at Claires (who we have luckily not seen since!) But that is a story for another day.
Today Callum and I were out window shopping, like most students do. And naturally we decided to use the toilet before we were about to go home.
The toilet facilities in the Highcross are outstanding. They have 4 disabled toilets (split over 2 floors), a large male and female toilet section, prayer rooms and a large and colourful family room for parents with young children. As far as luxury goes, these toilets are a pretty high up way to go!
However, as I normally would, I went into the disabled toilet. Having Autism i get very anxious and cannot use the toilet if other people are in cubicles next to me. This basically rules out using the normal toilets, as I will simply sit there and my body will not relax to allow me to go. I also someties require the handles to pull myself back up as HNPP can cause my legs to have very bad pain.
Me using this toilet has never been a problem before. No one passes comment, because most people have the decency to realize that not every disability is visible. Unfortunately today was an exception to this.
As I shut the door and went to lock it, and old woman sat on the sofa opposite the cubicle door shouted at me "YOU DO KNOW THERE'S A FEMALE TOILET RIGHT THERE DON'T YOU!" I just ignored her and put it down to her age and misunderstanding of the situation. But it did shake me up quite a lot and almost sent me into a meltdown.
Then as I opened the door again, after pulling myself back up from my basic human right of using the toilet, I was faced with a man whom had clearly got a physical disability. He gave me a dirty look and said I was 'disgusting' for using 'his' toilet when there were perfectly good toilets for me. I was fighting back the tears by this point. I was even more angered and upset to see that this man did not have to wait, as the disabled toilet beside the one I had just used had been free the entire time. He had simply waited for me to leave the toilet so he could essentially verbally abuse me.
I sat down on the sofa waiting for Callum and was almost in tears. I was panicking, shaking and feeling so upset in myself, despite having just as much right to use that toilet as any other disabled person.
The man came out of the toilet before Callum got back to me, and once again gave me a horrid look. I said back to him with my voice literally trembling in upset "excuse me but I do have a disability, some disabilities cannot be seen". He simply turned to me, gave me a dirty look and muttered something like "sure" sarcastically under his breath.
At this point a woman who I could only assume had seen the whole situation, said to me that she also had an unseen disability and had experienced similar situations. She now instead struggles to use the female toilets, in fear of this confrontation and verbal abuse. She really did calm me down! If you end up reading this, thank you for speaking to me, you really helped me!
Callum soon came out of the toilet, and by this point I was on the phone to my Mum because I was really upset and taken aback. Me and Callum decided to report it to the Highcross because I was getting in such a state. They handled it amazingly and acknowledged everything I was saying. They also allowed me time to write out a report and supported my idea of putting up a sign that says "not all disabilities are visible". I really do hope they do this! The woman who I believe was called Katrina, was phenomenal in calming me down and doing her best to solve the situation! So to the Highcross, Katrina is a real credit to you!
It is just so disheartening and upsetting to be subjected to a form of disability discrimination and verbal abuse by someone who is also disabled. I would have hoped that being a member of the disabled community, he would have been more understanding and caring.
Hopefully though I had to go through this, along with thousands of others on a daily basis, signs should be appearing everywhere soon that destroy the image of "only a wheelchair means disabled". Every person with a disability, no matter what it is or who they are, deserves the same treatment and care. My autism and HNPP is no less of a disability than his. And it is just heartbreaking as a permanently disabled person, to realize that until I sit into a wheelchair for a long day trip, in many peoples eyes I am just a 'liar' or 'abusing the system'.
So guys, if you take anything from this at all, please please please let it be that not all disabilities are visible! Never ever judge someone, because chances are if they are using the disabled facilities they have a hidden disability.
Thank you all for reading!
Love a very emotional Tasha :)
P.S: Things have been so hectic around my life at the moment that I just haven't had the time or willpower to update this blog. Starting Uni and moving has been very stressful! I hope you all understand <3
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