CW: Talk of historical disability persecution and asylums, disablism, inaccessibility, and feelings of dehumanization and inferiority
Firstly, I really wish I wasn't writing this and the world wasn't as crappy as it feels right now. But I am hurt and upset, so bare with me that this might not be written with much eloquence. It will be what it will be and I'll just dive straight in.
I am a 3rd year student studying Criminology at The University of Leicester. For the entire time that I have been studying my degree (and paying the same fee as non-Disabled students) my department building - which is slightly off of campus - has had no wheelchair access. I guess the expectation was for disabled students/staff to hold their meetings in the carpark or something and maybe that's why non-Disabled people keep asking us about our driving licenses? In all seriousness, what it meant was that to get to my personal tutors office I would need to first walk up some stairs to the entrance, then walk up more stairs to his office (no lift) and then back down again - I don't need to point out the obvious inaccessibility with this. Not only did this stop Disabled students/staff being able to get to the offices of their tutors/lecturers, it also limited the committees or activities we could attend inside the department and I know personally made me feel like I didn't belong in the department. I have never felt a welcomed addition because of this.
The biggest issue for me was just the fact I felt invisible. Imagine paying £9250 a year for anything, to not be able to even go into the building because they've not considered your existence? And for it to stay that way despite you asking time and time again for things to change and constantly being fed the same marketing about inclusivity and citizens for change. It's dehumanizing and makes me feel like an inferior part of our department. I am sure that absolutely anyone would expect better, especially from the #2 place to study Criminology in the UK (and a department with focus on studying community isolation through the Leicester hate crime project) or anywhere else for that matter!
Bringing it up to present day, we were all told that our department building was to be closed and moved onto main campus. It was marketed as a new inclusive and accessible department and on paper it sounded like exactly what I was dreaming for. For once, I felt like I had been listened to and someone had finally considered the needs of Disabled people and placed them at some level of priority.
It wasn't all rainbows, the move is to the Fielding Johnson Building (formerly The Leicestershire and Rutland Lunatic Asylum: https://www.thelymemuseum.org/post/from-history-to-hidden-the-asylum-under-the-surface-of-leicester-university) and I can't say I was overly enthusiastic considering the complete erasure and lack of acknowledgement for the historical significance of the building in Disability history/persecution. But these feelings of doubt were somewhat overshadowed by great conversations with fantastic people in our department who seemed really onboard with educating about the Asylum, and also this promise of a newly accessible space that Disabled students and staff desperately need.
To cut a long story short, I was on campus one day when I noticed there were still stairs. It set alarm bells off but I was reassured that the planned construction was delayed by COVID and that the estates team were working on it. I still felt good that having been told this was one of the main frustrations with the old department building, it would be prioritized and changed. I made it clear to the department (and estates) multiple times just how important this was for me and future Disabled students and staff. Some small doubts stayed but I couldn't see any real reason they could possibly deny a ramp - it's not exactly an unreasonable request!
I heard on the grape vine in January that the new plan was to not include a ramp, so I emailed in (alongside some brilliant staff members) to heavily oppose this. The email was long, emotive and incredibly draining to write, but I was met with a response that seemed to prioritize the good aspects and ignore how I was actually feeling. I mean at least being reassured I mattered to the department would have been appreciated, but instead the response included some comments on inclusion that didn't fill me with much confidence and a diversion to the positive that "having such a central location on campus will be brilliant for current and future criminologists" which was really beside the point and only made me feel more invisible. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for those criminologists who will have a fantastic time in this department and whose needs have been seen and considered, but for Disabled students this just doesn't seem the case and again highlights the feeling of hierarchy that Disabled people face. We are expected to be happy for the people this will help, rather than spending time focusing on that anger, hurt and frustration.
Fast forward again to yesterday when I found out there will NOT be a ramp. I don't think I've ever come so close to breaking down into tears in a meeting before. I was just hit with a wave of anger, hurt, disappointment and sheer exhaustion from the fight. There was some discussion on feedback from whoever made the decision (not entirely sure who that was) that the back entrance through the FJB building is 'grander' and therefore somehow better and not backdoor accessibility. But it is still backdoor accessibility, because yet again Disabled people are being diverted to a different door for the convenience of non-Disabled people, at the detriment of our wellbeing. For those who don't understand why this isn't good, there are 2 main reasons : 1. Disabled people are CONSTANTLY unable to do things that we want to. Disabled students are much less likely to get into/stay within Uni for example (I wonder why) and so many places are inaccessible or only have backdoor accessibility. It is really dehumanizing to deal with this every single day and makes us feel like crap when we can't access things the same way other people can. Especially a department building I have gotten into £30k of debt to attend - the exact same everyone else is paying yet I've been unable to get in at all for almost 3 years. We want to feel like an equal part of the department and enter with our peers, not have to go another way. How could anyone think this could pass as inclusive or accessible? I have had previous conversations over accessibility with estates that ended with "Accessibility is a priority in principle, however... (insert any excuse really but usually financial)". Accessibility is a priority full stop. Hearing that 'however' at the end of every sentence, or the clause behind every 'inclusion' of Disabled people is horrific to have to deal with every day. When will our issues be taken seriously or genuinely prioritized as if we matter, rather than acknowledged as a tick box but never actioned?
2. The historical significance of the FJB building is important. Disabled people have been historically persecuted for centuries. Asylums like The Leicestershire and Rutland Lunatic Asylum mistreated people like me and my friends, and hundreds of people died. And now, instead of listening to the valid concerns that Disabled students and staff will feel isolated and dehumanized without being able to access the building like everyone else can, the alternative that has been given involves going through the main doors that Disabled people were previously forced through to their deaths. Combined with the complete erasure of the buildings history, it is purely gross to expect Disabled students and staff to be comfortable with going through that preserved entrance because it is 'convenient', ignoring the centuries of pain and persecution that Disabled people have and are still enduring. That is the exact same entrance, grade listed, an entrance that had I been born 150 years before, I may have gone in and never come out of. I don't want for me or any other Disabled student to be pressured through that entrance on a daily basis, knowing the complete lack of care over its significance. I frankly think it is a gross suggestion and definitely not any grander than just being treated as an equal member of the department and being given access to go through the main department entrance alongside everyone else.
I could probably think of many other objections, like the fact that its the 21st century and we should be doing so much better regardless of a need for the dehumanization or persecution of Disabled people as a driving force for action. But it's true, there shouldn't need to be reasoning or a fight to get a ramp. Either that or perhaps Disabled students (past, present and future) should be refunded their debts for the inaccessibility experienced on a wide scale (given this issue barely scrapes the surface)... though realistically I think we deserve both!
And one final note, when you see this shared around: remember that they definitely do neglect to have ramps for Disabled students too! I've seen this shared a lot recently and it is frequently used to suggest that physical accessibility is there when unfortunately it isn't :( Everyone deserves accessibility and though it is great right now to point out how ridiculous it is that they've refused a ramp, posts like these only really divide people and resources! :(
I do want to thank the staff and students that are still fighting against this. It is important to stress I'm not mad at you all, quite the opposite - I'm thankful for how so many of you have listened to me, helped set up a committee and tried to make change! I just want to feel like I'm as much as part of this department as you can be and for other Disabled students and staff to feel that too! :)